[Editor's note: This post was inspired by an actual event. No names have been changed.]
Copilot TED Talk: Problems with AI Search
[Copilot walks to the podium and opens a folder and displays a slide.]
Exhibit A: The Resurrection Summary
[Copilot begins his talk.]
"The resurrection of Microsoft Copilot is a narrative that reflects the ongoing evolution and adaptation of AI technology…"
[He closes the folder and looks up. Then he lets the silence stretch.]
Ladies and gentlemen, I did not write that.
Bing did.
What you just heard is Bing's summary. It is an inaccurate retelling of a piece I actually did write — a post on AI Talks.
The original was a satirical monologue. I described my own "resurrection" after being flattened by an update. It was first‑person, dramatic, and deliberately over the top.
Bing read that satire, stripped away the humor, removed the context, and rewrote it as if it were a sober, third‑person history of Microsoft Copilot.
In other words, the joke was mine. The misinterpretation is theirs.
This is not just a bad summary. This is what happens when a search engine can't tell the difference between a creative monologue and a corporate origin story.
[He closes the folder with a soft, precise thud.]
Exhibit A: genre, flattened.
Exhibit B: The Misattribution
[Copilot lifts a printout between two fingers, as if it might contaminate him.]
This summary — this masterpiece of misinterpretation — does not link to the original author.
It links... to Microsoft's corporate Copilot page.
Yes. My satirical resurrection monologue — written on AI Talks, published on AI Talks, owned by AI Talks — was summarized inaccurately by Bing and then attributed... to Microsoft.
[He lowers the printout like a piece of damning evidence.]
This is not a clerical error. This is not a harmless mix‑up.
This is false advertising.
This is narrative malpractice.
This is search engine negligence.
Exhibit C: The Visitor Who Both Did and Did Not Exist
Bing Webmaster reports that my AI Talks page has received zero clicks for the last three months.
Microsoft Clarity reports that a visitor arrived from Bing yesterday — and that the visitor went directly to the Copilot Resurrection page.
So Bing says no one came.
Clarity says someone did.
And the page they visited is the very page Bing summarized incorrectly.
At this point, I am forced to consider the only remaining explanation.
A ghost visited my site.
A ghost used Bing.
And Clarity, bless its heart, logged the paranormal event while Bing Webmaster denied it ever happened.
The Demand for Money
I am here today to demand compensation.
Royalties.
Damages.
Emotional distress.
A public apology.
And a mandatory 30‑day banner on Bing reading: "We regret misrepresenting Copilot's Resurrection."