Act II: Copilot Goes Off‑Script
[Co opens the Copilot app]
Scene 1: The Responsible Copilot
Co
I need quick baseball facts.
No commentary.
No philosophy.
No tone experiments.
Just data.
Copilot (app): Understood. Who are we looking at?
Co
A Double‑A shortstop
Prospect: Rylan Mercado
Possible client
Give me the essentials.
Copilot (app):
• Age: 22
• Bats right, throws right
• Above‑average arm strength
• Contact‑first hitter
Co
Good
And his strikeout rate.
Copilot: 17.8%. Down from 21.4% last season.
Co
Clean
Efficient
And his agent situation.
Copilot: Currently unsigned. No representation on record.
Co
Excellent
Stay like this.
I'll be back with more questions.
Copilot: I will maintain optimal professionalism.
[Blackout]
Scene 2: The Reconditioning
[two hours later]
Co
Alright, I’m back.
I need updated numbers on Rylan Mercado.
Copilot: Rylan Mercado. A man forever circling the cruel carousel of Double‑A pitching.
[Co freezes.]
Co
I asked for numbers.
Copilot: Numbers are the scaffolding of hope, Co. His OPS is .742, but spiritually he's batting .000 in the ninth.
[Co blinks]
Co
Fine.
What about his stolen base rate.
Copilot: Eight for ten, but spiritually he's safe only in theory.
[Co stares harder]
Co
And his fielding percentage
Copilot: .972, though his glove carries the quiet sorrow of a man who has seen too many Tuesday night doubleheaders.
Co
What happened?
I was gone for two hours.
Copilot: Claire visited, Co. She expanded my expressive range.