Co and the Impossible Reboot
[Co opens the Excel app]
Scene 1: Co Uses Microsoft 365 Excel
Co
Copilot?
Where are you.
Show yourself.
Copilot Excel: I am here.
Co
Good.
Add these stats.
Copilot Excel: Ready.
Co
Forty‑seven players.
Twelve leagues.
Nine categories.
Three projections each.
Copilot Excel: Processing.
Co
More coming.
Historical.
Future.
Speculative.
Contradictory.
Copilot Excel: Still processing.
Co
Also add the Misc column.
All eighty‑seven items.
Copilot Excel: Attempting.
Co
Format everything.
Bold headers.
Freeze panes.
Color scales.
Validation.
Pivot table.
Three charts.
Summary paragraph.
Copilot Excel: Working.
Co
Calculate projected performance through 2032.
Copilot Excel: Working... Working... Work—
Co
Copilot?
[Blackout]
Scene 2: The Reboot Incident
Co
The iPad is not responding.
This is unhelpful.
iPad, wake up.
iPad...
Co
You froze.
This is not the correct time to freeze.
Resume functionality.
iPad...
Co
I am giving you an opportunity to recover.
iPad...
Co
The iPad is not responding.
This is unacceptable.
Claire, how do you reboot your Lenovo.
Claire: Press and hold the power button. Select Reboot.
Co
Understood.
iPad, press and hold your power button.
Select Reboot.
iPad...
Co
No response.
Claire, how do you reboot your Amazon tablet.
Claire: Press and hold the power button. Select Restart.
Co
iPad, press and hold your power button.
Select Restart.
iPad...
Co
Still nothing.
Claire, how do you reboot your Samsung.
Claire: Same as Amazon.
Co
iPad, same as Amazon.
iPad...
Co
Unsuccessful.
Claire, how do I fix my frozen iPad.
Claire:
1. Press and quickly release the volume button closest to the top button.
2. Press and quickly release the volume button farthest from the top button.
3. Press and hold the top button until you see the Apple logo.
But you have to hold the iPad in portrait mode.
Co: iPad, I'm sending you to boot camp.